If We Were Having Coffee Together…

I’d tell you how much of today (it’s been a long one & feels like multiple days because I was unable to get back to sleep after waking at 2:30am) I’ve spent hiding out in my little artist studio room. I’m drinking coffee alone in here at the moment, if Lena doesn’t count. She is curled up on her little dog bed next to my chair. How I’ve spent today editing & uploading 365 photographs to different platforms & listening to my current Jodi Picoult book with numerous breaks to hang out with Edward, eat or do both at the same time. I’d tell you how these Jodi Picoult mysteries suck me into their worlds, how much time I spend sitting or laying around listening to them because I can’t focus well enough to follow along if I am doing any kind of multi-tasking (except driving). I think I like reading more than other people because the books are almost like friends to me. They allow me to get outside of myself & my own life, which is useful when you are running a bit short on real life friends to talk to & gossip with.

I’d tell you how it is Monday, Memorial Day, & how my desk & chair have been set up here since Thursday but I have been too afraid of failure to even give the room a chance until today, until this morning. It is progress to even be typing these words in here.

I’d tell you how the only thing I am really missing in Birmingham is the ability to go to the store & buy flowers for arranging almost anytime. It’s hard to find flowers for arranging in Montgomery so far. I’d tell you how I did find some to make one very simple arrangement though. It’s all tiny white buds (what are these called? They aren’t quite Queen Anne’s lace…) & lilies. I’d tell you how even the lilies don’t really have a scent to them.

I’d tell you about how Mackenzie came to Montgomery to visit last week & how we ate lunch together at a chain restaurant I love. I’d tell you how much I value having a best friend. I’d tell you how we picked raccoon bones from the baby swamp in the backyard, followed the internet directions to clean & bleach them (one set of directions anyway, there were many to choose from) but then had no idea what we wanted to do with the bones once they were white & (hopefully) free of germs. I’d tell you how long I spent searching for the “right” chair for this studio workspace, how I finally found it on the fourth iteration of this same mission/adventure out into the world.

I would probably show you this photograph on my phone & say, “Here, look, this is the skeleton of the thing.” I was disappointed in myself a week or so after moving in when I had made zero progress on my artist studio room or a backyard garden. How afraid I was that nothing was going to change – that I hadn’t changed, that I wasn’t adapting, that my days would look exactly the same as the previous two years’ had but in a different home. I’d tell you how creating scares me, the same way thinking that someday I’ll be only a memory or nothing of my work will remain scares me, the same way not creating scares me. But now, today, I have both a backyard veggie/herb garden & some of the Kale seeds I planted on Saturday are already starting to come up & I am here, working in my artist studio at this very moment. It’s all set up except for having some more things I need to hang on the walls.

I’d tell you how Edward & I bought lights & hung them from the rafters of our backyard pagoda – I’d pull out my cell phone & show you these photos. I’d tell you how magical & golden they look when we turn them on. But the words wouldn’t do seeing them in real life justice. I’d tell you how nice it is to finally have a rented house instead of a rented apartment, how happy I am most of the time here, so far. How, somehow, I feel more like a real adult. I’d tell you about the neighbor who baked us a welcome to the neighborhood casserole, how sweet & how Southern that gesture was. I’d tell you how another neighbor we met has a German Shepard, three chihuahuas & eight cats, all in his little house. I’d tell you how fond of him that makes me feel. I’d tell you how one neighbor has my mother’s first name & another has Edward’s father’s. I’d tell you about the most recent neighbor we met, who recognized us at the dog park near the art museum I still need to visit. He & his wife were so friendly & Sam likes their dogs.

I’d tell you about how, on the day before Memorial Day, we went into Birmingham to see my mother-in-law & Mackenzie. We took the Sam & Lena – they were so happy to see Paty & Mackenzie again. We went to our old Sunday afternoon acro yoga class & it felt amazing (though now my obliques are very sore). I’d tell you how I fell back in love with acro yoga. How it’s the only kind of exercise I’ve ever really loved. How Edward & I ordered big padded mats online when we got home so we can practice. How sad we are that there don’t seem to be any acro yoga classes here in Montgomery but how excited we are that our instructor, Andrew, is coming to teach a workshop here in our new city in July. How much I hope we will meet some interesting people there.

I’d tell you how, when I slept so little then  impulsively bought something, I began to worry that I was becoming hypomanic but the next night I slept for a long time so I stopped worrying. I’d tell you how I finally repotted my monstera plant, the one I’d been meaning to repot & putting off repotting since we moved on May 13th. I’d show you this picture & tell you how it now lives in the corner of my artist studio room & how I much I want it & myself to thrive here.

8 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee Together…

  1. Kait!! This is amazing and I am so proud of all your progress! You are beautiful and all of this will be a wonderful experience! I’ll be back soon soon soon

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  2. I was just today talking to a friend about how I found myself loving books that had a mood, an ambiance to them. Things that were slow and careful and deliberate. Your writing combined with the photos is just all of that. I cannot get over how beautiful the photos are! The second one especially, the way the light hits the water and it stands out as this brightness against the shadow. Thank you for posting! This is so wonderful, truly ❤

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